I'm not Barry Melrose. I'm not Scotty Bowman, Don Cherry or Herb Brooks.
It's probably been 15 years since I've laced up (that's what you do, right?) hockey skates on myself. I've played more backyard broomball than hockey.
Really, if we're going for full disclosure, those four names mentioned earlier are the only hockey thinkers I could come up with right away without resorting to Google.
But this column isn't about my hockey knowledge shortcomings. Rather, this space is out to prove it doesn't take a great puck mind to spot a hockey fan base's unwarranted overreaction.
Apparently, it takes an 8-4 Nebraska-Omaha pounding on UND at Ralph Engelstad Arena to usher fans to their ledges.
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Most goals given up in 19 years in Grand Forks? Hakstol's a hack.
Mavs start 5-for-5 on the power play? Genoway can go away.
Dumb penalty after dumb penalty? Hextall might as well join Hakstol on that first bus out of Grand Forks.
And it just had to be Nebraska-Omaha, headed by former Sioux coach Dean Blais -- the leader of the Sioux during their 1997 and 2000 national titles.
That meant as of Saturday afternoon, it was reaffirmed for a good chunk of Sioux fans that coach Blais does indeed walk on both frozen water and water.
The online message board Siouxsports.com even saw its legendary and laughable "Fire head coach Dave Hakstol" thread re-emerge. It's five pages of babble and counting.
During each game throughout the season, Herald UND hockey writer Brad Schlossman and UND sports information director Jayson Hajdu conduct a live chat online that includes reader comments.
Instead of strictly providing updates Friday night, Schlossman and Hajdu supplied more therapy than Dr. Phil. Their voices of reason soothed a panicky fan base so often that they should have charged for the session.
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Where, oh where, has perspective gone?
You'd think UND was scrounging in a season of mediocrity, fending off Michigan Tech and Alaska-Anchorage to battle back to the middle of the pack in the WCHA.
If you happened to just stumble upon some of these fan meltdowns, you wouldn't think UND was ranked No. 2 in the country at the time. Or in first place in the WCHA. Or that the Sioux are 14-3-1 in their last 18 games after Saturday's 4-2 win over the Mavericks. (Oh yeah, those UND bums found a way to somehow pick up a win Saturday).
On one hand, UND can take pride in how high they've set the bar for their fans.
But be a little realistic, Sioux backers. Don't let a measly hiccup in a long season bring you to the brink of madness.
If you do, at least pay Schlossman and Hajdu a decent hourly rate for their therapy treatment.
Miller reports on sports. Reach him at (701) 780-1121; (800) 477-6572, ext. 121; or send e-mail to tmiller@gfherald.com .
