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RYAN BAKKEN: News Quiz anniversary

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my last News Quiz. Didn't notice, did you? Nor, apparently, did anyone else. In the last 12 months, not a single person begged for a quiz' return nor expressed pleasure at its disappearance. Ouch. Even I kn...

Ryan Bakken
Ryan Bakken

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my last News Quiz.

Didn't notice, did you? Nor, apparently, did anyone else. In the last 12 months, not a single person begged for a quiz' return nor expressed pleasure at its disappearance.

Ouch.

Even I knew it was time for a mercy killing because being ignored is much more painful for columnists than being scorned.

That's why I dropped the quiz from my column repertoire. Besides, I found other ways to make cracks about hockey coaches who seldom smile or Grand Forks City Council members incapable of saying "aye."

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Mentioned in my first News Quiz, in 1998, were Jesse Ventura, Ed Schultz, Scott Hennen, Jim Kleinsasser and Ernie the Angler. Fifteen years later, Ed and Ernie remain relevant.

My first News Quiz also mentioned the Aurora Sports Center, which wisely was not named the Aurora Sports Stadium because of the acronym it would have produced. That acronym assuredly would have come under fire from Chris Berg, the talking head conscience of the Red River Valley.

(The Aurora, for newcomers, was the maiden name of the Alerus Center.)

All column-writing strategies have a lifespan. Well, not all of them. Not Dear Shirley. Not Cheerful Person of the Week. Not Eat Beat. None of my columns have the power of breadsticks.

Not that I'm jealous of someone who gets to rub elbows with Anderson Cooper. I understand.

All I ask is that I get my name on a lift station, just like my two column-writing heroes, Marilyn Hagerty and Dave Barry.

And, as homage to the defunct News Quiz, make it an especially smelly one.

Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 1125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com .

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