Read the fine print on red

Here's some free advice: Always read the fine print. Even on stop lights.

Some Grand Forks intersections, most of them near schools, have NO TURN ON RED signs above the lights. The big, bold words are so intimidating and forceful that not even the gang would dare to defy them.

But unless you're Superman or have the Hubble telescope on loan, it's nearly impossible to read the smaller print below it. It reads: When bicyclists or pedestrians are present.

One problem is that the small print goes largely unnoticed by drivers who have blue hair or write newspaper columns. So, they sit and wait until the light turns to green, while the late-for-something driver behind them leans on the horn.

Then, when they notice the small print after several months of being the recipient of the blasting horns, they become the blaster instead of the blastee.

"The print is legal size," said Jane Williams, the city's traffic engineer.

So is Simon Cowell, but that doesn't make him right.

The other problem with these signs is that they come directly from the Department of Redundancy Department. State law says you can make a right turn after stopping anywhere unless otherwise posted.

The sign's fine print states that you actually can take a right turn on red -- as long as you don't run over anybody while doing so. I thought it was always the case -- sign or no sign -- that a right turn on red is illegal if you flatten somebody in the process.

I learned that in my driver's training classes, back when I took my behind-the-wheel instruction in a DeSoto.

The small print sends a mixed message. It would be like putting up a 20 mph speed limit sign on the interstate, with the small print reading "if the road is glare ice, visibility is 8 inches, your headlights don't work and there's a blind man pushing a walker in your lane."

Williams has one valid point, that the signs provide an added safety measure around grade schools. Younger children may be blocked from the view of the drivers. "It makes people think and take an extra look," she said.

And the fine print helps to keep traffic moving, at least for those with 20/10 vision or the Hubble.

But the same signs downtown around Grand Forks Central aren't as useful. High-school-age pedestrians are visible above the vehicle's hood. Plus, they go where they want to go, whether they're walking, bicycling, skateboarding or chilling.

Red lights, green lights and crosswalks are all invisible to humans 18 and younger. The best sign for safety purposes would be: NO DRIVING (when students are anywhere in the vicinity).

Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com .