Dear Sasha,
I hope you are still alive and well in Alvarado. I decided to write you today because I am Marilyn's dog, Dot.Com. She is on her way home from Bismarck today and asked me to handle her column.
So, I hope you understand why I am writing you out of the blue. I need to talk to another dog, even though I have a caretaker who comes in and checks on me.
I remember getting some very nice letters from you a couple years ago. I think your human must be very clever, and I think she wrote them. What is her name anyway?
I would like to get reacquainted with you. I understand dachshunds better than I understand people.
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I was just wondering how life is in Alvarado? Are there many dogs in your little northern Minnesota town? Do you get to run free?
I am fenced in, but I have a little doggie door so I can get into the back porch. I make sure there are no rabbits around our back yard. Sometimes, I sit in the porch and stalk the squirrels that run up and down the trees.
Leroy Kurtyka lives across the fence at the back of our lot. Sometimes, when he mows his lawn, I bark like crazy at him. Leroy just ignores me. My mistress comes out with a collar that quiets me down. It has an electrical shock that reminds me to be quiet.
Have you ever been subjected to that, Sasha?
They have a dog park for all of us canines over at Lincoln Park. Sometimes, when the grandchildren come to visit, they walk me over there. I usually bark and get all crazy around other dogs. So they get me out of there. Also, I am not sure where the rest rooms are.
I like it when we go on walks in the evening. If I had my way, I would take after the motorcycles on Belmont Road. But I can't because I get a staunch pull on the leash and it hurts.
Well, Sasha, the humans are talking about fall and winter. That means I will have to spend more time in the kitchen. Marilyn has a basketfull of plastic stuff for me to play with. She doesn't realize that is my work. Just like humans, dogs have work to do. And I would never be any good on the hunting trails.
If you get the Herald, don't do what I think you might. Just turn the pages until you see this letter.
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Obey your master. Eat your dog food. And write to me if you can. Your canine friend, Dot.Com in Grand Forks.
P.S.: I am black and white. They say I am a registered dachshund of Piebald brand. I am not sure I believe all that stuff. What kind of a breed are you?
Did you know I first lived on a cattle ranch in Colorado with a couple of siblings? I was having fun chasing those big black angus cows and nipping at their heels, but the rancher didn't like that. Also, he had too many dogs. There were two others from my litter. So, they gave me to Marilyn for Christmas three years ago. At first, she didn't want to take me to Grand Forks. Then her grandchildren brought me up here in the springtime. I have tried to be a good companion. She had three dachshunds before me. First there was K-9. Then, Miami Beach. And then, Sam. They all got sick and went to dog heaven. I am hale and hearty.
Reach Hagerty or Dot.Com at mhagerty@gra.midco.net or (701) 772-1055.
