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Say it ain’t so.
Making improper pronouns illegal scares the heck out of me. I was never much good in English class when it came to dissecting a sentence. You know, finding the subject, the nouns, the proper nouns, the pronouns, the verbs, the adverbs and all the other descriptive words hidden in any given sentence. And now a state senator wants to make the subjective misuse of a pronoun illegal. Holy crapola.
This is every kid’s worst nightmare come true. Never mind the bullies, the mean teachers, the quizzical look on the server’s face when a kid asks what’s in the goulash being served for lunch. Now a kid has to sweat bullets trying to figure out how to tell his, or her, parents he, or she, needs $1,500 because they used the wrong pronoun. Oh God, or Goddess, say it ain’t so.
On a more serious note, unconfirmed reports have it that Mr. Green Jeans, Mr. Moose and Bunny Rabbit have posthumously issued a joint statement decrying the misuse of intelligence during a legislative session.
Now, where is that adverb I’m supposed to find and how much is it going to cost me if I don’t?
