In a cheap ploy to avoid another lawsuit in my sue-happy hometown, I searched deep the dark net and found another community that mixes big money with small-town shenanigans.
Located far, far away in Galaxy M56721, East Forkia was populated by humanoid-like (mostly) honest, Zeus-fearing folk. Then, with jaw-gaping awe, they were struck down. For they found themselves the victims of a messy '"who hoodwinked who?" odyssey called The Lordwalk, named for a shadowy parade of the E. Forkian elite.
Valued at a million zenorks, The Lordwalk was really a free building for somebody for a long, long time. Claiming they knew not who (and there's the rub), the E. Forkian overlords washed their hands of the affair by tossing it to the firm of Diddly & Squat of the planet Fargonia.
After a long, wet slog through a legal pond of weeds, muddied by opposing forces throwing dirt into the clear waters of the Duh River, Diddly & Squat decreed, "Yup. You're out of luck. It is better if you just leave this Greek tragedy unsolved for decades. Let us hope your E. Forkian underlings will forget, and you can let it go to (fill in the blank when you figure it out). Please pay attached bill for 14,786 'norks ... You're welcome."
And then, the E. Forkians lamented their woes even more. For their flowers were taken away, perhaps in part as a sacrifice to Diddly, Squat & new partner Zilch, and in any event denying them just a little color under their dark and hazy fog.
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This sad saga began as a game of Hot Potato and ended with a circular firing squad where everybody missed. Except for-well, it's still a mystery. Kinda.
Mike Butler
East Grand Forks
