A September for Lindsay Lohan to remember

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, Lindsay Lohan is free at last.

Yes, after a grueling 12 hours in jail -- which showed once again how celebrities are mistreated -- the wholesome Lindsay has been sprung. Like, it was, like, so unfair for her to be jailed. She, like, missed a spa appointment.

Thankfully, September was much kinder to the rest of us. To test your memory of what else happened last month -- good and bad -- check out the following September News Quiz. Just don't call Lindsay for help. She's still traumatized from being photographed in that orange jumpsuit.

1. Why won't Grand Forks use the gas at the old landfill to generate power and heat?

A) Landfill isn't big enough to generate the needed amount of gas.

B) Landfill would generate less gas every year.

C) The energy created would be more expensive.

D) City will instead convert to wind energy supplied by certain windbag aldermen.

2. At the National Speed Trap Exchange, a website based on reports from drivers, where are Grand Forks speed traps most often found?

A) On U.S. Highway 2 on city's western edge.

B) On 17th Avenue South.

C) On Washington Street.

D) Near any doughnut shop.

3. Political experts say the Democrats will lose:

A) 47 seats in the House.

B) Eight seats in the House.

C) Eight governor's offices.

D) Maybe even to a Delaware Republican candidate for Senate who has dabbled in witchcraft.

4. Why would North Dakota congressional candidate Rick Berg suggest drilling for oil in Theodore Roosevelt National Park?

A) Revenue could be used to fix Social Security.

B) Revenue could lower state taxes.

C) Drilling would create more oilfield jobs.

D) At the time, he was overcome by the fumes from a natural gas flare.

5. An audit of NDSU showed the school is spending way too much taxpayer money on:

A) Booze.

B) Flying first class.

C) Unused hotel rooms.

D) Audits.

6. How did UND set an enrollment record of 14,194 students?

A) Success at attracting students.

B) Success at retaining students.

C) It offers a comprehensive set of programs.

D) Popularity of school's new major in Facebook.

7. Why did the UND and NDSU presidents visit each other's homes?

A) To meet local lawmakers.

B) To show unity.

C) To compare academic offerings.

D) To compare moats.

8. What has been the biggest scheduling problem for the UND football team?

A) It needs to find a new conference.

B) It needs to find more home games.

C) It needs to find higher-quality opponents for money games.

D) It needs to find lower-quality opponents for guaranteed wins, like the Gophers, for instance.

9. What was the most interesting result of a survey of Grand Forks teenagers?

A) Fewer are drinking alcohol.

B) Fewer are using tobacco.

C) Fewer are using drugs.

D) All have less time for alcohol, tobacco and drugs because of spending every waking moment playing equally brain-numbing shooter video games.

10. What was the highlight of Potato Bowl festivities?

A) The parade.

B) The tailgating.

C) The UND football team's 55-14 victory.

D) The Potato Bowl French Fry Feed, thrown by the Red River Valley Potato Growers and corporate sponsor Stents-R-Us.

Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com .