On Saturday in San Francisco, a "Nude-in" -- a naked sit-in -- was held to protest a proposed law to ban public nudity.
I know, I know, you're stunned that a conservative city such as San Francisco doesn't already have an ordinance banning nakedness on the streets. When you think of conservatism, you think of Ronald Reagan, William Buckley, the Religious Right, Roseau County and San Francisco, right?
But it's true. You legally can walk San Francisco streets, parks and even restaurants while au naturel. You can even sit down bare-bottomed at the restaurants. Four things immediately come to mind: 1) tourism-killer; 2. appetite-killer; 3) yeww; and 4) disinfectant.
However, a city supervisor with the unfortunate name of Scott Wiener is trying to fix that. He has proposed an ordinance that would ban nudity in restaurants and require nudists to place a towel before plopping down on public seating.
Thankfully for residents, visitors, environmentalists and owners of 20-20 vision, Grand Forks has an indecent exposure/nudity ordinance. Ordinance No. 9-0111 even bans bare butts, in addition to the usual body part suspects.
ADVERTISEMENT
Grand Forks cops write a fair amount of citations written for this offense. But don't envision beads-seeking Mardi Gras revelers, Girls Gone Wild or male strippers performing outdoors at a bachelorette party.
"It's basically drunk guys urinating outside after leaving the bars," said Grant Schiller of the Grand Forks Police Department.
Whatever the demographic, it can be expensive. The maximum penalty is a $1,000 fine and 30 days in jail. Unless the perp has done something onerous like taking a leak in a police car's gas tank, the usual fine is considerably lower.
Public nudity's biggest crime is against eyeballs, not society. Why is it that nudists are usually the people who least should go naked?
At the very least, San Francisco should make public nudity a felony for people 60 and older.
Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com .
