I have most of the Thanksgiving Day routine down pat.
Eat? I'm a trained professional. I've dialed back on my intake tonnage in the last few years, but I believe it's also my duty to honor the cook by "consuming mass quantities," as was often noted by Dan Aykroyd character Beldar Conehead on Saturday Night Live.
Watch football? Again, I feel a moral call of duty.
Thursday's games didn't have a team worthy of moral support from the couch, but I found reasons to root against teams. As a fair-weather Vikings fan, I felt it was my duty to cheer against the rival Green Bay Packers. As someone who despises bullies, I had to root against the goon squad known as the Detroit Lions. I have a similar affection for the Dallas Cowboys, the NFL's elitist snobs who think they invented the game.
So, I found moral obligations for watching all three Thanksgiving Day football games.
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Give thanks? Yes, I addressed that third important requirement of the holiday, too.
Recently added to our list of reasons to be thankful is that we have a new member of the family, a son-in-law. He's a great guy. Well, at least that's what the private investigator says.
To recap, I'm good at the Thanksgiving rituals of eating, languishing on the couch and thanking.
However, I fall woefully short on one of Thanksgiving Day's duties. That job is to create a Christmas wish list, just as everyone else is called upon to do on the biggest newspaper advertising day of the year.
People young and old find the Herald's Thanksgiving edition to be helpful in developing a list because about two-thirds of the newspaper's heft comes from advertising flyers. However, it seems that about 90 percent of the advertising is geared toward women.
Sure, Cabela's has a Ruger rifle on sale, Scheels offers up a discounted fish house and Ace Hardware is touting a DeWalt drill. But, for every rifle, fish house and drill, there are 10 women's fashion options.
This is an understandable ratio, if you've ever witnessed a Black Friday from shopping's front lines. The ratio of women to men shopping on that day is about 10 to 1.
It's still too early in the shopping season for men, either as a buyer or a receiver. As always, ladies, please show us patience.
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Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 1125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com .
