School is starting soon, which means only one thing: It is back-to-school shopping time.
And back-to-school shopping time means only one thing: Haggling between parents and children over what-clothes-to-buy time.
When the kids are kiddies, they want the clothes that show the latest cartoon favorites. No problem. When they're in the older elementary grades, it's basically WWHMW (What Would Hannah Montana Wear?). Not much of a problem.
Then they become teenagers. Big problem.
As teens, the battle isn't over indecision over picking Angelica Pickles or Dora the Explorer for a shirt. Nor is it so much over the price tags. Instead, it's over what is appropriate.
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Can you say dress code?
Every school has one. They're good or bad, depending upon your age.
I remember when The Beatles first arrived when I was in seventh grade. Some students were sent home by the principal because their hair strayed past their eyebrows. Time showed this was nothing, that the hair became much longer and more unsightly.
This was about the same time that hemlines scandalously rose above the knees, causing some clergy to rail against it from the pulpit and principals to take out their rulers. Again, in retrospect, it seems like pretty tame stuff.
Nowadays, the dress code issues seem dicier by comparison. Or maybe it's just because I'm old.
We're talking, of course, about underwear not staying undercover. For boys, it's the pulled-lower-pants/pulled-higher-boxers look. For girls, it's lingerie peeking out.
Gonzales (Tex.) High School has a new approach for this battle when school starts. Violators of the dress code must wear school-issued navy blue coveralls until they get another set of clothes from home.
They look similar to prison jumpsuits, although they're not orange. That has some people upset that they're making students into prisoners.
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This may or may not work. But, as always, I have the solution. There's a surefire method of making students toe the dress-code line. It's this:
If a teenage girl shows too much lace, mom comes to school the next day in the exact same outfit. If a teenage boy shows too much boxer, dad does, too. In fact, make it tightey-whiteys.
The humiliation will be so severe that the teens will never offend again.
In related dress code news, a male mail carrier in Seattle is campaigning for the right to wear kilts as a uniform option. "It's for comfort," he said, citing chafing and genital discomfort.
The carriers' union soundly defeated that proposal. They're smart enough to realize that if male mail carriers start showing up at the door in a kilt, there will be a run on P.O. boxes.
Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com .
