A home of their own for the holidays

For the first time in four years, Patty will spend the holidays in her own home.

"This is so incredibly exciting for me and my kids," said Patty, a Grand Forks woman who asked not to use her last name.

She is in the process of moving into her new home from the temporary housing that was provided for her through St. Vincent de Paul's transitional housing program.

"I am moving in with nothing, but I'm starting fresh."

Patty's joy from her new house may come from the long road it took to get there.

Patty grew up in a large family, with nine brothers and sisters. Her parents drank a lot, she said, and it was an abusive household, which she feels contributed to her troubled life experiences.

"I was always in abusive relationships," Patty said. "It wasn't surprising my husband was the same way."

A long road

About six weeks after her oldest son was born, she met her now ex-husband. "He got me hooked on meth," Patty said, "And I was on drugs for almost 13 years."

During that time, she was in and out of jail with two separate driving-under-the-influence convictions, charges for driving under suspension and a handful of bad checks she wrote to feed her habit, she said. All the while, she kept her full-time job at a local bakery, "I used to come to work all black and blue," she said. "But one day, they handed me some papers from the CVIC (Community Violence Intervention Center) and told me I needed to get help."

But it didn't come that easy.

In large part because of a drug-filled abusive marriage and an addiction that couldn't be kicked, Patty found herself moving from place to place and eventually living in motels.

"We were getting evicted from a lot of different places," she said. "It had to do with the fact he wouldn't work, and he beat me up a lot. The cops were always there. I've had cops in my life for 13 years."

AssistanceShe finally went to a women's shelter after advice from co-workers, but her husband found her there, as well. After going to meet her, he brought her some meth, and she was caught, asked to leave the shelter, and her children were taken away.

"When they were taken away, I was sad, but also happy because I knew they at least had a home," Patty said. "But having the kids taken away was the only thing that saved me."

From that point on, things began to change, although not right away. After 24-day stint in rehab, she had a relapse, she said. But entered rehab again - this time for 90 days - and has been clean ever since.

The CVIC has helped her in getting out of the abusive marriage - she's divorced now. And she returned to using her maiden name.

After embarking on community service at St. Vincent de Paul, she learned about their transitional housing program. She was referred to Jennifer Modeen, program director and social worker at St. Vincent de Paul, who helped her in getting her children back.

"My first case worker told me I didn't have the ability to get my kids back," she said. "Then, Jennifer looked at me and said, 'Yeah, you do.'

"I could ask her for anything, and Jennifer would help. We talk about three times per week, and she's found me furniture for my new home. I couldn't have done this without her."

On right track

Patty is taking regular parenting and budgeting classes and is the assistant manager at a local fast-food restaurant. She is looking at taking management training.

She has been clean for almost three years, is going to counseling with her sons and isn't in contact with her ex-husband.

"It feels good to say I'm going home," Patty said. "And mean it."