In the two years since my daughter, Ellen, was diagnosed with leukemia, I have learned a lot about blood cancers, chemotherapy treatment, lumbar punctures and many other medical procedures.
It's an education that I really didn't want, but one that has given me a much better understanding of, and compassion for, people who have cancer. My journey with Ellen has given me a glimpse of the physical and emotional struggles people with cancer experience while it is active and during its treatment.
After two years of witnessing nearly every procedure Ellen has undergone, giving her daily oral chemotherapy drugs, administering shots to her and having hundreds of conversations with her nurses and doctors, I have a pretty good understanding of acute lymphoblastic leukemia and the treatment protocol that puts it in remission.
Heart issues
Two weeks ago I began getting a crash course in another type of medical problem; congestive heart failure. On June 1, my mom, Marcia, age 86, was having trouble breathing and felt ill, so I called the local volunteer ambulance service, which took her to Altru Health System emergency room.
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Tests showed she was having congestive heart failure. My mom's diagnosis was a surprise to me and my siblings because she has no history of heart problems. An electrocardiogram showed that she has a leaky mitral valve. I guess it shouldn't be surprising that body parts eventually show wear and tear, but it still was a bit of a shock to find out that my mom's heart wasn't functioning as it should.
Since June 1, I've had many conversations with her doctor and nurses about her condition and done a lot of research on the Internet about congestive heart failure. The upshot of that, is the treatment and the prognosis for patients with congestive heart failure aren't as cut and dried as it is for children who have leukemia. The protocol for treatment of leukemia is standard across North America and in several countries in Europe and the long-term outlook for patients is positive.
Uncertainties
With congestive heart failure in 86-year-old people, things aren't as certain. There are steps, such as reducing salt intake, moderate exercise and medication which will help my mom live with her condition, but there is not any definite road map to follow during her recovery as there is with leukemia.
However, in anther way, my mom's illness is similar to Ellen's. It requires taking one day at a time and relying on faith. In either case, I don't know what the next day will bring. Though Ellen, overall, is doing well, the side affects of chemotherapy can crop up quickly and she has days that she doesn't feel well and when her compromised immune system leads to infections.
My mom, meanwhile, who is used to being pretty independent and has walked with no assistance, is dealing with using supplemental oxygen, feeling fatigued and needing some help to get around. I am learning how to "read" how she's feeling and letting her know it's OK to rest when she's tired and that, while her recovery seems slow to her, it's really pretty amazing considering how sick she was the when the ambulance brought her to the emergency room.
Besides learning about medical terms, procedures and how important it is to rely on my faith at times like these, another thing my mom's and Ellen's illnesses have taught me is that relationships are not limited by age. Though, 80 years may separate the two, they are close in spirit.
Best of friends
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During the past two years my mom has helped with Ellen's recovery by reading books to cheer her up when she is sad, playing with her to help pass the time when she had to stay home from school because she wasn't feeling good and assisting her with homework.
Since my mom has been sick, Ellen has been a big part of her care giving: reading books to her, making get-well cards and giving her big hugs.
Seeing my daughter and my mother together and the love and consideration they have for one another has been a great life lesson. It's a daily reminder that love has no bounds and that it is the best medicine of all.
