Where did the time go?

Time flies.

The latest evidence of life’s speed is this: Daughter Andrea is a grownup.

Yes, chaperone-beleaguered Andrea is a full-fledged adult by all definitions. She’s 23 years old, has a full-time job and is responsible.

Of course, she’s been responsible from the start. That’s what happens with the oldest child. They come equipped with a dependability gene the following offspring lack.

But I digress. The reason for this bulletin is because her status is the second most frequently asked question I field. No. 1 is this: “How’s the ticker?”

Well, the ticker is ticking and Andrea is a fifth-grade teacher at the Hillsboro (N.D.) Elementary, just down I-29.

She’s well-equipped for handling youngsters on the cusp of puberty. That’s because many of her developmental years were chronicled in this space. She had the misfortune of entering junior high about the same time as her father was moved from the Toys & Games Department (Sports) to columnist.

Always on the prowl for column topics, I made a habit of chaperoning her school dances for material. At that age, it’s embarrassing to have a parent in the same building, much less a parent patrolling the darker reaches of the gym, armed with a miner’s helmet and a ruler to calibrate the proper slow-dance distance.

Then came the further humiliation of having the parental stalking detailed in the daily newspaper for all to read.

On the bright side, that paternal abuse has made her battle-hardened. She’ll need it because she inherited the Bakken-side height gene, meaning she might be shorter than some of her fifth-graders.

As you might imagine, her mother and father are very proud. She has chosen an honorable profession that promises many rewards.

One of the fringe benefits may be the opportunity to chaperone a school dance, although I doubt she’ll have as much fun at it as I did. Besides, she knows better than to deny parents a golden opportunity to humiliate their kids.

Reach Bakken at (701) 780-1125; (800) 477-6572, ext. 125; or send e-mail to rbakken@gfherald.com.

Tags: ryan bakken, columns, family