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LETTER: Two words could solve East Grand Forks' loan problem: Pay up

EAST GRAND FORKS — To an outside eye, it’s cut and dried: They signed. They got the money. They didn’t pay it back. Ouch.

And still, The Boardwalk remains the free million-dollar building.

Now, the city of East Grand Forks finds it necessary to hire outside legal representation to resolve this for $190 an hour. Ouch again.

If the city will let me play their trump card right away, I’ll do it for half.

First, I’ll call the signature people and ask politely, “Please pay all owed now.”

If they refuse, I’ll plop a copy of the loan agreement on a judge’s desk. The attached note will read, “Your Judgeness, the city of East Grand Forks respectfully requests that the people who signed this repay the funds so graciously given in good faith, like, right now. That would be real good. In full would be even gooder.

“If they say no, please tack on some sorta late fee for breach of contract or whatever ya call it. We won’t object.”

I’ll then submit my $95 bill to the city of East Grand Forks for the half-hour this will take.

I also pledge this: If for some lame reason, the responsible parties still refuse to comply and a court room thingy is ordered, I’ll attend all the talky stuff as your unlicensed but half-priced attorney. If a signature guy’s lawyer hems and haws, makes excuses, whines or points fingers at somebody else, in elegant high brow legalese that I don’t understand, I’ll simply respond with, “Your Honorship, please refer to the payment schedules and signatures as a legally binding obligation.”

Since it doesn’t take an en expensive genius to repeat that, I’ll even do the court stuff for free.

Mike Butler